Ten Action Points to Improve Your Happiness

1.Maintain a commitment to the marriage
This can be especially difficult today with all of the distractions of our daily lives, but it’s important that you put your marriage first. If you’re committed to making your marriage a success, and you know that your partner shares your commitment, there’s nothing the two of you can’t accomplish.

2. Slow down and do nothing. Take about 15 minutes each day and grab a cup of coffee or tea and give yourself time to think about whatever it is you want to think about. You will be surprised at the inspiration that will come to you.

3. Complete one item on your “to do” list. Return the overdue telephone call, clean-up your email inbox, or get an oil change for you car. By accomplishing just one thing that has been gnawing at you, will give you a much-needed sense of relief and accomplishment.

4. Eat at least one good meal. Not to sound like your mother, but you are what you eat. Eat something nourishing and healthy each day.

5. Perform one act of random kindness. Hold the elevator door open for someone who is a few steps behind you or lift the bag and place it in the overhead bind on the airplane for someone who can’t manage this task. Kindness breeds more kindness. The concept of “paying it forward” is real and effective.

6. Listen, really listen to someone. Listen without judgments or criticism. Try to avoid any self-referencing and be fully present for whoever needs it.

7. Focus on one thing at a time. You can’t be all things to all people, not even to yourself.

8. Review your goals. If you have not put your goals in writing, do this today. There is a direct and proven correlation between people who have written, stated goals and their level of accomplishment compared to people who do not. Care to guess which group has the higher success rate with reaching their goals?

9. Say “No” more often. This was sound counterproductive, but it’s all about setting realistic boundaries for you. Show honor for your personal beliefs and convictions by not compromising who you are. Save your energy for the people and tasks that are the most important to you.

10. Say “I love you” to the people who you truly love and cherish. Do so with heart-felt sincerity. Love them as if this were their, and your, last day on earth. Don’t wait; tell them today because there is no day but today and inspiring stories.

14 Ways to Learn the Secret to Happiness.

There are many sources of happiness for our lives. Some of these sources are primary and need to be cultivated and maintained to the best of our ability. Our marriages, friendships, and careers are all fundamentally important to the quality and level of our happiness. Other sources are not as important to our overall well-being – these are the sources we need to watch and, perhaps, change if we begin to find them not as rewarding. Examples of these sources would be our hobbies and our instant gratification moments.

To explain, after a particularly hard day you may decide to stop by a Starbucks on the way home and order a double mocha. On this day, it’s perfect. The smoothness of the chocolate is comforting and hits the spot. But do you need to make this stop everyday? Trust your instincts and listen to your inner voice – it’s usually right.

The important concept is here not to confuse activity with happiness. Don’t rely on doing one certain thing to bring you happiness. Typically the action (ordering the double mocha) is not what brings the happiness, but rather it’s the grace you give yourself to put you in that moment to say you are worthy and deserving of the comfort. True happiness comes from this state of mind and self acceptance.

For your convenience, listed below are all 14 strategies as well as brief summary for each one.. Over time, these strategies will become positive and life-changing habits that will begin to bring more happiness, joy and peace into your life. Enjoy.

1st Way: Notice What’s Right
Some of us see the glass as being half-full, while others see the glass as half-empty. This expression goes straight to the heart of the power of positive thinking and taking the time to Notice What’s Right.

2nd Way: Be Grateful
How many times do you say the words “thank you,” in a day? How many times do you hear these same words? If you are doing the first thing, saying the “thank yous”, the latter will naturally take care of itself. Learn to Be Grateful every day and open yourself up to receive an abundance of joy and happiness.

3rd Way: Remember the Kid You Were
Do you remember how to play? I’m not referring to playing a round of golf or a set of tennis. I’m talking playing like you did when you were a child – a game of tag; leap frog, or street baseball when the bat is a broken broom handle and the bases are the parked cars. One way to find or maintain your happiness is to Remember the Kid You Were and play!

4th Way: Be Kind
There is no question that by merely watching acts of kindness creates a significant elevation in our moods and increases the desire for us to perform good deeds as well. Kindness is indeed contagious and when we make a commitment to Be Kind to ourselves and to others we can experience new heights of joy, happiness and enthusiasm for our lives.

5th Way: Spend Time with Your Friends
Although an abundant social and romantic life does not itself guarantee joy, it does have a huge impact on our happiness. Learn to Spend Time with Your Friends and make the friendships a priority in your life.

6th Way: Savor Every Moment
To be in the moment is to live in the moment. Too often we are thinking ahead or looking ahead to the next event or circumstance in our lives, not appreciating the “here and now.” When we Savor Every Moment, we are savoring the happiness in our lives.

7th Way: Rest
Sometimes we need the time to unwind, decompress, or to put it simply, just “to chill.” Life comes at all of us hard and fast. Time, as do the days on the calendar, keeps going forward at its own natural pace, which is not always the pace we would choose. Fatigue, stress and exhaustion may begin to settle in on us faster than we may think, or notice. The best remedy for this is indeed Rest.

8th Way: Put on a Happy Face
Sometimes we have to fake it until we make it. I’m not suggesting that we not be honest, real or authentic, but I’m suggesting, sometimes, we just need to Put on a Happy Face and keep moving forward. Researchers claim that smiling and looking like we are happy will indeed make us happier. Studies further show that if we act like we are happy then we can experience greater joy and happiness in our lives.

9th Way: Move!
The expression a “runner’s high” does not infer an addiction, but a feeling or a state of mind - a state of euphoria. There is no question exercise, or any physical exertion, elevates your mood and enhances a more positive attitude as well as fosters better personal self-esteem and confidence. Indeed, one way to increase your happiness is to Move!

10th Way: Pursue Your Goals
The absence of goals in our lives, or more specifically avoiding to pursue our goals, makes us feel like we are stuck and ineffective. The pursuit of goals in our personal lives, with our relationships, or at work, with our careers, is the difference between having a mediocre life or a life full of passion and enthusiasm. Pursue Your Goals and watch your happiness soar.

11th Way: Finding Your Calling
Some find meaning in religion or spirituality while others find purpose in their work or relationships. Finding Your Calling may be much more than accomplishing one simple strategy for increasing your happiness, but having a sense of purpose – of feeling like you are here for a reason – can perhaps bring the greatest joy of all.

12th Way: Get into the Flow
Flow is the form of joy, excitement and happiness that occurs when we are so absorbed in an activity we love that we can loose ourselves and time seems to stand still. What creates flow is unique to each one of us. To find and sustain true happiness in our lives, we must get off the sidelines and Get into the Flow.

13th Way: Play to Your Strengths
One way to achieve flow is by understanding and identifying our strengths and core values, and then begin to use these every day. Once we aware of our strengths and we begin to Play to Your Strengths we can better incorporate them in all aspects of our lives.

14th Way: Don’t Overdo It
Know when to say when. What gives you joy and happiness the first time may not work the second time. Too much of a good thing may begin not to feel as good if the “thing” becomes more of a routine, or an expectation. Set healthy and reasonable boundaries for yourself and Don’t Overdo It.

Too often we measure ourselves from where we think we should be to where we actually are right now. This will always result in a negative number. This type of measurement has a way of setting us for failure because if we don’t reach the desired goal, we may lose our confidence and sometimes our passion and energy. Instead, measure yourself from where you have been to where you are now. This is the most productive unit of measure and it will always be a positive number. Be patient with yourself and measure you happiness this same way.

Ten not to wish/Do Points

1 I wish I had never learned that I’m not worthy to have what I want.

2. I wish I had never learned that it’s waste of time to be spiritual and to worship.

3. I wish I had never learned how to be smoke and mirrors.

4. I wish I had never learned that I could change my situation by being perfect.

5. I wish I had never learned that wearing eyeglasses is a sign of weakness.

6. I wish I had never learned that I my value was determined by others.

7. I wish I had never learned that being confident and secure was only a myth.

8. I wish I had never learned that sex equals intimacy.

9. I wish I had never learned that speaking up for my needs was a waste of time.

10. I wish I had never learned that I wasn’t enough.

I Believe

I Believe-
There are no accidents without value. No matter how difficult the circumstances in life, we can grow and learn from what happens to us – everything happens for a reason. Taking the time to find the value in these events is up to each of us.

I Believe-
You can not change or heal what you do not acknowledge. For real and

lasting growth to occur, we must first come to terms with our reality and see it for what it really is in order to reframe it and learn from it.

I Believe-
Happiness is a choice. Each day we can either choose to face the day with a positive attitude or allow the obstacles and setbacks to overwhelm us and make us anxious and angry.

I Believe-
Love can be eternal. While it’s true no one can make you happy, you can feel happiest about yourself when you are with someone who gives you the time and space to bring out the best in yourself.

I Believe-
We all have a purpose in life. To find your purpose, make a list of all the things you want to accomplish in your life. The one that jumps off the page and makes you begin to cry is your purpose.

I Believe-
Life and learning is a process. Try to avoid saying you can’t do something, instead, state, “I have not learned how to..,” or “I’m learning how to…”

I Believe-
Never give up. The day you quit is the day before the goal or task is accomplished.

I Believe-
We measure our progress in life incorrectly. Instead of measuring where you are now to where you want to be, measure yourself from where you have been.

I Believe-
It’s OK to make and have money – a lot of money if you wish. Your character is not defined by how much money you make; your character is defined by what you do with the money you make.

I Believe-
As parents our main responsibility is to nurture and protect our children. We also have the responsibility to break the cycle of any harm, dysfunction or pain we experienced as children. I believe our jobs as parents are to make our children’s life better than our childhoods. The real payback occurs when our children do likewise as parents.

I Believe-
Always love your partner and always fight fairly when disagreements occur. It is never acceptable to strike your partner – ever. Listen to their point-of-view and then offer your own. Remember, would you rather be right than happy?

I Believe-
Living a happy and fulfilling life is more about the “what” than the “how.” Focus on “what” you want. The “how” will reveal itself naturally over time if you fully commit to the “what.”

I do believe.

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